August 13

Ten years from this day, while sitting in a coffee shop alone, sipping a mocha, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, as I hop and manage to burn the tip of my tongue and spill coffee, I giggle..

“Bunny, you are always gonna be a mess” echoes in my head.

I reminisce about all the times I received an amused look with that sentence, of all the times I laughed too hard that my cheeks felt wounded, and of his laugh, ah, that elated me even more.
He is, what you call it, the only one of his kind. He is a thousand different things inside his shell, but his shell is what he calls himself. If you go into the aesthetics of him, he has a fierce attitude, a crisp sense of confidence and is filled with sheer fidelity but these aren’t the only things I loved him for. Yes, love..

Seven days into him being in my life, I baffled him with trouble, he looks like one you know, with his dark brown eyes, messy hair and a perfect dress sense! After all, that’s what troubles were, for an 18-year-old dreamy gullible-girl back then.

Turns out, he was a storm.
With him, he brought rain, my eyes rained, but only to make my vision clearer.
His thunder when affected me, revived my soul.
His words of wisdom were the winds that made me want to encounter a change to my best potential self.
No no, he wasn’t changing my persona, he changed my aura, and I guess that’s the changing constant I was looking for.

Have you ever met one of those people who have the power to enhance your day just by being in it, even if it is for a dinky amount of time.. he is that person. He can engulf passion inside you with a snap of his finger, and light a fire with a blink of his eyes. His outright headstrong personality is unattainable for people like me, and trust me, there are a lot like me but not him, he is, as I recall it, one of his only kind!
He has a wide peculiar smile and it has always signified the colour pink to me. Above it rests a cute fat nose. The brown eyes, I repeat, are the most dangerous part of it all, I can dive in their depth and enter an untold world. Also, he has a unibrow, which he likes to think makes him lucky somehow. Wh-ah?

As I go on smirking on the thought of my muse, I realise I might have made a fool of myself as usual. I pick my things and get up to leave,
the phone vibrates again,
“Bunny, as always, you’re gonna be a mess ….my mess” the two texts read.

Ughh, this is the trillionth time I fell for his trick, I look around and there he is, standing flawlessly,
“Happy birthday, I love you.”
(and that’s all my fumbling tongue would gather at that precious moment of a perfect day.)

–  August 13, 2027// Yes, we’ll get there and beyond.

What is it with you nature? 

What is it with you nature?
How do you captivate me so much?

Despite of all the love I have for the humans who love me,
I end up loving you the most.

You are the beauty, and well,
here I am, your beast.
Yes, You are my beautiful and
I am your damned.

You don’t sing but the whistle
in those winds and the rustle
in these rains
make me want to dance.
You don’t speak
but I hear your words
asking me to join you
in your shrine.
You are calling me out,
asking for help,
but I stay here, ignoring your plea,
with these gadgets in my hand.
You offer me so much in love
yet the only thing I do
is only wish,
wish to be at your disposal
the second you shower me
with your charm.
It seems like we are star-crossed lovers
trying find our path to one another.

Fascinating but true,
this story of ours is like those of unrequited love,
for our eyes glisten with a tint of pink
and our hearts pound,
but it does not reach the other.

Isolation

I had a dream one morning
that left me dumbstruck
Oh it took me to face my greatest fear

no, it was not fire, water or height
it was something in my mind
been there for more than a year

it had cost me my endeavour to
be close to the people in my life
I realise,

what scares me the most is the fact
that there could be a day
just that one day

when someone decides to stand up and leave
there would be no effort in the world
to make them stay

yes, forever is a lie
and someone who promises me one
can one day be the devil in my way

oh they’ll become the sand in my hour glass
at my constant watch
which no matter what will slip away

so why let anyone enter
my beautifully damned life
why expect anyone to be there

why can’t I think
that these people will just be
random souls temporarily here

why shouldn’t I live in isolation?

Walk Through It.

Walking in the bright sunlight
on a scorching day
sweating, feeling dehydrated
you’re just there, existing
without a purpose or a breath.

the nature doesn’t love you
like the music says it will
you no longer feel beautiful
the pores in your skin
start to explore the hot
not so happy summer wind.
you’re just there, existing
without water or a will to go on.

you don’t feel the air
you don’t feel the beauty of it
as they talk about
in the books or the movies
you’re just there, existing
in an unheroic manner
in your own movie.

while you give up your hope
of one day becoming
as shiny as those
conventionalists out there
a rush of breeze swipes
your dead dry hair
off your gloomy face
and you think

that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes,

but darling it’s too simple
to just think you’re the best
that you’re gonna rock this world

you just have to
walk through it, honey
like the sunshine is
moulding you to be
as hard and beautiful
as a diamond.

just walk through it, honey
like you need no one
the sky is meant for you
breath it, live it, aim it.

Cold mornings, fidgety nights.

Spilled coffee, a drunken mind.
Cold mornings, fidgety nights.
It feels like living in a place
without a shrine.
Though it’s called a house
but nowhere’s your home.
Everything’s well they say
yet somehow
you feel the need to go.
Someone’s embrace
might take you to galaxies,
but you ought to walk away.
It never brings any good
you know it,
as no one ever stays.
So you make peace
with your demons
as nasty or obnoxious
they may sound.

you think about yourself,
your spilled dreams
and your insane drunken life.